Fighter of the Night Man

I haven't used LJ in a while :O

Let us see. Me and Jason's ultra trip across the country was amazing and I sorely miss it. I'm living in Louisville now. Jason and I have a cute little studio apartment in Old Louisville. Very pretty neighborhood, but it seems like it can get pretty shady. I don't go for walks without my revolver. Back in school and moving towards my archaeology degree. My allergies and sinuses are the worst wreck of my life here unfortunately. I quit WoW, now play FFXIV and I love it. GALKA PRIDE.

Life's pretty good actually :>

May, come to me

Time for cake and sodomy

I'm doodling more than ever, you inspire me Jason XD

I haven't posted here in a while. Things are going pretty well..for the most part :> I'm taking 4 classes at Grossmont towards an Anthropology degree. I'm going to try and work a little..though I'm worried about my arm, which isn't better by any means. I feel like such a gimp...

I dunno. I feel like a broken person anymore. Sometimes I just want to stop going to therapy because it just reminds me how fucked up I am. I feel like I've made a lot of progress, but some things can never change. I still cringe when people raise an arm near me, thinking I'm going to get hit. I don't know if that will ever change. Some things are just ingrained in you. Sometimes I feel like I'm just watching my life happen and I'm not really there. Kind of almost out of body. It's very odd. I think it might be a part of PTSD, but who the heck knows. My head usually feels like its swimming. Maybe it's years of sleep deprivation from my night terrors. It feels like I have some cloth over my head, blocking reality, some bubble keeping me distant. I feel like a person pretending to be normal.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess because I can't talk to my aunt. She wanted to listen to me, she understood what my childhood was like and what my family is like. I feel like I'm just whining saying this stuff to anyone else. Life feels so hard without her, I think about her every day. It makes me wish I were religious, so I could say she's watching me and knows I'm going to school for anthropology, but that's pretty much preposterous. Who knows though. I dream about her so often and have sat and talked with her in my mind. I never thought someone dieing could affect me this way. It feels disgusting..going on with life and trying to forget so I don't miss her. There's so much of her in me though, everything reminds me of her. So much of what I have she gave me.

Enough babbling. I feel like cleaning. Jason sent me some awesome fossils for vday and I want to set them up :>

does want

http://cgi.ebay.com/VENTURE-BROS-CREW-JACKET-LIMITED-EDITION-/250739236014?pt=Collectibles_Animation_Art&hash=item3a61391cae

Sometimes

I doubt anyone has seen highway to hell, but if you have you might be about excited by this

http://ubermagen.deviantart.com/#/d342tyq

Happy birthday Aunt Paula. What I would give to have you back.

I had an ultra violent dream last night that took place on a fishing boat, but for some reason rooms in the house I grew up on were the rooms on the boat. Towards the end I overheard people through a vent in my cousins rooms floor that they were coming up to get us, so I set a pocket knife down on the floor with the blade out and something over it and my hand. Two guys burst through the door with muskets of all things, shouting and threatening my cousin and I. They went to shoot and I jumped up throwing a second knife to my cousin and stabbing the dude while pushing his gun away.

Now generally in like..all my dreams when I'm having confrontation like this I am utterly helpless, flailing around with rubber arms. But in this case my dream had vivid close ups of me stabbing the knife into this guys belly and cutting across with it.

Funny enough I woke up thinking wow, that must be some sort of breakthrough mirroring how things are going for me in life. Then later I fell back asleep and had a dream where I was sneaking around some criminals home and got caught and none of my guns would work. Maybe that was just part of that dream, who the hell knows.